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Joke of the Day
"According to my fitness app, I ate a 6 mile fruit roll-up."
Next Joke
"What do dead kids and jokes about dead kids have in common? They never get old."
"Why don't you ever want Hitler to be your chemistry lab partner? Because he always ends with a really fucked up final solution"
"During our First Dance at our Wedding My new wife looked into my eyes and said ""Where have you been my whole life?"" I said ""SOBER"""
"""That's not Captain Kirk."" is what I like to say just after the pilot makes his first announcement & then everyone laughs in my head."
"Name brands really are better. For instance, I just found out that the Tide pen works much better on stains than regular pens"
"Sex can make your day But anal can make your hole weak"
"Where do the stankass penguins live? Antfartica"
"Generally speaking, a woman's hotness is directly proportional to the number of times your wife calls her a whore."
"What do you call a farting fatass? Gas giant."