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Joke of the Day

"You know when you get that urge to eat something just because it's there? Anyway, I lost my job as a gynaecologist today."

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"""What do we want?"" ""A cure for ADHD!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Squirrel!"""

"It would just be mean to make a joke about the woman with lumber breast implants..... Wooden Tit"

"What is Medusa's favorite cheese? Gorgonzola."

"""Your new girlfriend seems a bit, I don't know...bookish?"" She has a name you know! ""What is it?"" ...Paige."

"Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as ""not Bruce Willis"" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling"

"In Maryland we can't legally carry concealed weapons so our best defense against being murdered is the zig-zag runaway."

"What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird."

"Why did the witch lose her way? Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction."