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Joke of the Day

"""What do we want?"" ""A cure for ADHD!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Squirrel!"""

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"Best garage sale ever! It's not advertised, nobody's here and it's all free! It's like my neighbor accidentally left his garage door open."
"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"
"I know a joke about frequencies But I'll not share it, because the punch line is so bad it hertz."
"What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher? Would you like ketchup with your chips?"
"The Bible is basically the longest set of Terms & Conditions ever, which is why so many people agree with it without knowing why."
"Apple, the FBI, and John McAfee are sitting in an office... Only two were invited, but the third one got in through the backdoor."
"When I was a kid... ... I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work out."
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell"
"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."