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Joke of the Day

"Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......"

"Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts."

"So a father comes into his sons room.. And asks him: How are you? His son then answers: I'm fine thanks."

"A guy walks into a pub he was hiding from the police after they shot his family for j walking"

"What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Woman"

"What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"Sometimes... You just gotta treat life like a bad lay... Make funny faces and pretend you're having a good time."

"Q: Why did the Wisconsin democrat cry? A: He couldn't recall."

"Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill."

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."