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Joke of the Day

"Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts."

"I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore... I'm moving the fridge to my room."

"Where do suicide bombers go after they die All over the place"

"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."

"Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes."

"Want to hear another Ebola joke? Never mind, you wouldn't get it anyways"

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste!"

"For me, eating fast food is like going out on a date and finding out the person you're with is racist. Either way, you're going to end up alone in your apartment using up all the toilet paper."

"What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"Why doesn't Seattle have a professional volleyball team? Because then the people would demand a professional football team"