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Joke of the Day
"What does it mean when you're on a date and he pushes you in front of a bus?"
Next Joke
"Me: I don't scare easily. Pregnant wife: All four of our daughters will be teenagers at the same time. Me: *never stops screaming*"
"I overheard a dad at Starbucks tell a kid not to tell Mom he got a cake pop for breakfast, so I guess I'm part of their web of lies now too."
"[sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*"
"What do you call a tank rolling through the streets of poland? Ghetto Blaster"
"I'll never forget where I was when I found out I have Alzheimer's"
"What does a donkey say? It says ""Hey Shrek, whats up?"" (I was 9 when i made this okay)"
"New twist on an old joke (long) Don't know if this is the right place for this but I think fellow joke-lovers will think it's amazing. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/guy-walks-into-a-bar"
"Good in bed? So I was asked by a girl recently if I was good in bed. My reply: ""I know I'm good in bed because I'm always satisfied!"""
"Why did the bike fall over Because it was two tired"