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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the Wisconsin democrat cry? A: He couldn't recall."

"Messi carrying Argentina. Neymar carrying Brazil. British Airways carrying England"

"I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow."

"If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!"

"Did you hear about the commemorative gun they're making in honor of the democrat party and president Obama? It's called the union worker You'll over pay It never works And you can't fire it"

"TIL Ethiopian warriors conquered part of Central Europe in the 1300s That's why they call it Hungary."

"My walls are closing in. Crawling in my skin my Cell walls are closing in? HELP!"

"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"

"What do you call a hippo that swears? A hippopottymouth"

"Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always stuffed !"