88384

Joke of the Day

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"I tried commiting suicide today. Never doing that shit again. I almost killed myself"

"I don't trust public opinion polls because they don't take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"Today's joke from Russian-language Internet ""You know, they've built a George Orwell memorial in Russia!"" 'What? Where?"" ""Pretty much everywhere."""

"I thought about buying a pocket calculator and then I thought who care how many pockets I have"

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!"

"Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do."

"What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting? He got fired."

"I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail...."