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Joke of the Day

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better."

"How many beans are in Irish Chili? 239, because if there was 1 more it would be ""Too Farty""."

"What do you call Moby Dick when he washes up on a sandbar? A bleached whale!"

"Did you hear about the steak that had too much sodium put on it? It was assalted"

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? The one he gets from his internet provider for copyright infringement."

"If my wife ends an argument with ""Fine, do what you want!"" I'm pretty sure the words ""If you do, I'll stab you in your sleep"" are implied."

"What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume? Give him the sheet music."

"Trump gets elected president.. On inauguration day, he swears in as President. Before delivering his inauguration speech, he turns to Obama and says ""President Obama, You're Fired"""

"[At Neiman Marcus] *looks at sales clerk* *holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase* I don't know...which one will hold more chicken nuggets?"