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Joke of the Day

"Anyone wanna have a pun war? Just for phun.?"

"Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Pixar collection... ...But he's never gonna give you Up."

"Why are hurricanes always named after white people? Because white people destroy everything."

"I was at a hat shop and the sign read, ""ALL CAPS MUST GO!"" ...and I thought what hypocrites!"

"*The Terminator opens a fortune cookie. ""It is ok to kill many people. Many killings are coming your way."" John: I know it doesn't say that."

"pretty jealous of bears. they're like, ""well, just ate my entire weight in salmon, now I'm gonna sleep for 6 months. smell ya later, hater"""

"[talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks."

"Anyone know if Hallmark makes a ""Sorry about your miscarriage, but it was my first time playing Bocce Ball"" card?"

"Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends. ""Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I'll be there."""

"Why did Hitler kill himself? The gas bill was too high."