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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fanny on a fanny on a fanny? A block of flaps"

"So what do you do for a living? ""I'm in the Secret Service"" Wow, you didn't keep that secret too well did you"

"What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four"

"Just seen a midget struggling carrying a TV to his car. I said "" You need a hand with that flat screen mate?"" He said ""Fuck off dickhead, its an ipad"""

"Bring a Knife on a Date! When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"Sarcasm: confusing stupid people and pissing off idiots everywhere."

"When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It's just one boat, how many could there be, they said."

"So, a snake walks into a bar.... And the bartender asks in surprise ""how'd you do that?!"""

"How do you give a blonde two black eyes and a broken nose without touching her by waving your cock under a glass table"

"Fun fact: Did you know that HIV is Roman for 'high five'? Pass it on - or, rather, don't."