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Joke of the Day

"Bring a Knife on a Date! When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris."

"What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers? There's none, both like clubbing."

"If they ever reboot Grease, it must be directed by M. Night Shama-lamma-ding-dong."

"""You don't have to press the buttons harder to go faster"" Said no gamer ever."

"My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"How does trump fire a gun? He tells the bullet it's fired."

"nice try walmart, like im gonna spend $20 on a skeleton mask when i could easily just peel the flesh and muscle off my face for free"

"Sorry I missed your funeral, but in my defense, you're not coming to mine."

"Hey! There's no need for name calling... ... You cunt."