62291

Joke of the Day

"How do you give a blonde two black eyes and a broken nose without touching her by waving your cock under a glass table"

"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I'm positive he isn't. How do you know he isn't? Because I am."

"I got 6 numbers at the bar last night... One more and it would have been a complete telephone number. (special thanks to Kevin Malone)"

"After I ask a stranger if I can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond, ""I'll keep that in mind"" and walk off"

"Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball."

"If men have man caves, why dont women have woman caves? They do, we just universally named it the kitchen many years ago."

"I'm not a violent person. I just really enjoy assisting people in falling down."

"There's nothing wrong with being a self-made man... Unless you have an Oedipus complex and a time machine."

"I don't care if Facebook says you've got friends. Don't believe everything you read"

"Vanilla body wash.... smells amazing.... tastes like shit. Someone needs to figure that out."