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Joke of the Day

"[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice."

"Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite ...because all the others could not be positively identified."

"The best part of being a girl is not having to open doors. If I approach a door and a guy isn't there I just take a nap til one shows up."

"Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself."

"A patriotic Helen Keller song... ""Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'Maughhghariianoo oohhghhoo onooa oooaughhahg'."""

"Four gay guys walk into a bar... To see only one stool was open. ""Ah not a problem!"" The bartender said as he flipped the stool upside down."

"Everyone knows that your eyebrows are drawn on, we just wish you'd make them lightning bolts once in a while."

"I'm not your GameBoy, quit pushing my buttons"

"When was the last time the Indians were the champions? Before Columbus came."

"What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song? Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me"