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Joke of the Day
"Just trying to figure out how the text box works"
Next Joke
"I used to watch TV, read the paper, and listen to the radio. Now I watch the internet, read the internet, and listen to the internet."
"Human Cannonball Following the tragic death of the human cannonball at the local fair, a spokesman said, ""We'll struggle to get another man of his calibre""."
"I respected people a lot more before Spotify told me what they were listening to."
"Arnold's new tell all book. Arnold Schwarzenegger just wrote a new tell all book because no one could understand his audio book."
"I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day."
"[carrying sleeping cat out of burning house] seriously, what purpose do you serve"
"Titanic be like ""I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge!"""
"If your partner says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new,"" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in a traffic jam"
"[Bank] COP: [through megaphone] LET ONE OF THE HOSTAGES GO ROBBER: Okay, who wants out? ME: [spinning on bosses chair] I'm comfortable."