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Joke of the Day
"Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself."
Next Joke
"Why are Women like buses? You wait all day for one then find out 48 other people in the local area have been riding on her."
"What's the oldest red wine in America? ""Give us back our land!"""
"Little Susie goes to the doctor... Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, ""Ok now, big breathes."" Susie says, ""I know! And I'm only 12!"""
"What is the favorite Pokemon of a smoked meat sandwich? Raichu"
"I've consumed three coffees plus two energy drinks with black carrot and what I'm trying to say is there won't be commas in my tweets today."
"My sex life is like a Bond villain... Goldfinger"
"I have just filmed my girlfriend using her toes to wank me off. Nice bit of footage."
"I stole a toilet seat from a police station. They never found out who did it. They had nothing to go on."
"Play The Bee Gees loudly several times a day from your home so that if you have to kill someone the sounds won't be unusual."