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Joke of the Day
"[15 minutes into choosing which crab from the tank to have for dinner] Date: are you crying?"
Next Joke
"Saturday wins ""best day"" 47,000th week in a row."
"16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again."
"I asked a librarian About some books about Pavlov's dogs and Schroedinger's cat. She said it rings a bell, but doesn't know if it's here or not."
"My New Year's resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall. And I plan on sticking to it."
"Why did the blonde avoid eating cereal? Every box had, in huge letters, ""0mg cholesterol!"""
"I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck..."
"Arnold Palmer has died... I heard that he will be half buried and half cremated."
"I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds."
"Why wouldn't you teach a woman how to ski? Because there's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.."