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Joke of the Day

"I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck..."

"What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant? You have served your porpoise."

"In Greece how do you separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium **BATMAN! **"

"Why did the pirate go to Ireland? he thought he was going to Arrrland."

"To all the men out there without ponytails: What are you afraid of? SUCCESS???"

"Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel."

"The Legend of Zelda Joke Do you know why Ganon can't use the internet? There's too many Links."

"If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST"

"My Friend Told Me His Girlfriend Talks a lot in Her Sleep.. ..Apparently ""I Know"" wasn't the right answer."