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Joke of the Day

"I call seahorses just 'horses' and the brown, cloppity ones 'landhorses'."

"Are you celebrating Chinese New Year, gurrrl? Cuz I'd like to go home from the baa and ram ewe."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cheese ! Cheese who ? Cheese a jolly good fellow !"

"My wife came into my room at the ER and started unplugging stuff and flipping switches until she realized that I had just sprained my ankle."

"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"

"I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow just in case a gang of cats break in while I'm sleeping."

"How does NASA organize parties? First they planet then the stars comet."

"I told my dog to ""Lie."" He said ""Meow."" Now I don't know what to do."

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar one turns to the other and says ""hey, wanna go in there and get shitfaced""?"

"It gets cold in Alaska during the winter. Juneau what I mean?"