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Joke of the Day

"I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow just in case a gang of cats break in while I'm sleeping."

"Is it normal for a doctor who sees your penis to yell ""MAGNIFICENT!"" --it's not, right?"

"I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past 2 years But no one will take the job"

"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"

"Some people can't stand being in a wheelchair"

"A guy walks into a bar He has a frog on his shoulder, the bartender says Hey where'd ya get that? The frog says it started out as a wart on my ass."

"I know a guy who bowled a 301. ""How'd he do that?"" Because you can't bowl a 300 and lose."

"A Native American man walks into a hotel in Las Vegas The receptionist asks ""Do you have a reservation?"""

"Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank."

"What's a pig's favourite casino game? Porker."