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Joke of the Day

"How come Hitler never went to the movies? Because he could nazi!"

"Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration? Because it's a cold day in hell...."

"[NSFW] What came first: The egg or the chicken? The chicken, I don't think egg cums."

"Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience."

"In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device."

"I've spent 43 years not being productive, skinny, rich & famous. Why start now?"

"ME: Hi, come get me. This house is weird and someone is snoring. MOM: Honey, for the last time you're not at a sleepover. You're married."

"How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears."

"Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s. Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears."

"A jewish kid asks his dad for $5.... The Dad says, ""$4!? I don't have $3! What do you need $2 for??"