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Joke of the Day
"I named my bathroom ""the Jim"" So I can tell my friends I go to the Jim everyday"
Next Joke
"What is Viagra for lesbians called? Batteries"
"It would suck to be named Will in the army. ""Fire at Will"""
"I began writing full time 20 years ago. I've sold lots - my tv, my car, my jewellery..."
"Hey white people, which filter are we using this year to Instagram the Pumpkin Spice Latte?"
"SCARY STORY! Once upon a time there was a little boy. He saw something strange, and, thinking about what he saw, he folded his arms... INTO PAPER AIRPLANES!"
"I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head."
"*opens cartomn of eggs revealimg twelve rocks wher the eggs normaly go* guys shh ill get u past security this way, jus keep actimg like eggs"
"13yo: Mom, I need 3 current issues happening in the neighborhood. Me: How abo- 11yo: WEAK WIFI, BUFFERING, BAD DATA PLAN! ..shoot me now."
"It's like my uncle always said: ""The day I can't do my job drunk..."" ""...is the day I hand in my badge and gun."""