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Joke of the Day

"So Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Do you want a beer?"" Descartes responds, ""I think not!"" poof. he disappeared"

"A black man asks a white man where the colored printer is. The white man smiles and says, ""My friend, in this day and age, you can use any printer."""

"Plans for Easter Wife: What are your plans for Easter? Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean ?? Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!"

"What does oral sex in a nursing home taste like? (shrugs shoulders) Depends."

"Have you heard the myth about how the internet was created? It's an Allegory."

"How come when someone says ""we need to talk"" it's never about ice cream or Star Wars?"

"Dreading going to gym. It's kinda late. Open 24hrs, tho. Hey, you know who else is open 24hrs? McDonalds. Yeah. I'm going to McDonald's."

"I'm really claustrophobic and just walked into a room crammed full with married people... Luckily there wasn't a single person in it"

"If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion."

"I finished off a pizza today like it was planning to testify against me in court."