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Joke of the Day

"Plans for Easter Wife: What are your plans for Easter? Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean ?? Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!"

"Just passed a guy wearing a ""#1 Dad"" T-shirt. On my way home now to ask my kids what the fuck."

"What the hell is almond milk? Almonds don't have titties"

"What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals."

"There are three types of people... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"What did the romaine say to the spinach before they started to eat? Lettuce pray."

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ? 20 minutes, thermostat 8."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haha you are adopted. Credit to this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3715bp/one_mans_trash_is_another_mans_treasure_would_be/"

"What's the best time to go to a dentist? Two thirty"

"Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months."