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Joke of the Day

"Plans for Easter Wife: What are your plans for Easter? Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean ?? Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!"

"I can explain the casting for Thor. Norse mythology describes him as a ""hauntingly beautiful blonde lady"""

"Did you hear about the string of bank robberies committed by a guy dressed up like Jesus? The cops finally nailed him."

"You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you."

"""Good morning, class. Today we are going to learn about diseases. Can anyone give me a sentence containing the word cancer'?"" ""I can, Sir!"""

"""Let's call it a day."" I don't know what else you'd call it. Calling it a turtle would just sound stupid. ""Lets call it a turtle."" See?"

"I just flew in from Phoenix... Boy are my arms tired No seriously, I was jacking off the entire plane ride home"

"Why do black people not go on cruises? They won't fall for that one again."

"what's wrong with pi? He is irrational and goes on and on - says the wife of pi"

"*picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance"