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Joke of the Day

"If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion."

"A man bets his wife that she can't make him happy and mad at the same time She says, ""Your dick is bigger than all your friends' dicks!"""

"A vegan buddhist... ...decides to jump off the roof of a meat factory as the ultimate form of protest believing that he will be reincarnated. He became a vegetable."

"What do you call a hired investigator who's a jerk only when he's alone? A private dick."

"One atom asks a hipster atom, ""Hey, did you lose an electron?"" The hipster atom replies, ""No, I'm just being ionic."""

"A person's tongue immediately becomes a toothbrush after you mention ""teeth"" in a conversation."

"What tribe is your bicep from?"

"Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their mothers."

"Me: What kind of tools do I need to make a cake? Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this."

"2 reasons why im fat 1) i eat when I'm bored 2) im always bored"