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Joke of the Day
"How does a Snowman get to work? By icicle."
Next Joke
"Him: Productive conference call? Me: Hell yeah. I painted my toes, posted 6 pictures on IG, and got in one solid nap."
"Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should've considered."
"NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure."
"Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite."
"Donald and Hillary walk into a presidential debate. And America walks out"
"That annoying moment when you're waiting for a text & you get one but it's from the wrong person."
"Why don't they have showers on airplanes? Because of the towel ban."
"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies ""I have testicular cancer""."
"My daughter is now at the age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. This morning she asked, ""Was that the best you could do?"""