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Joke of the Day

"June is over? Julying."

"You know what's great about jewish tires? They don't just turn on a dime, they pick it up too"

"It's SO ADORABLE when my kid's fish sleeps upside down. Because that's what it's doing. Sleeping upside down. At least until I go to Petco."

"What do you call an addiction to dead black people? Negrophelia."

"Wiping your ass is a lot like a traffic light Red means stop."

"What's so dark about blonde jokes? They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb"

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your dick in a girl's ass."

"They all laughed when I told them I'm going to be a comedian... well...they are not laughing anymore!"

"Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a f*cking chainsaw."

"I have two boyfriends! Well, I'm dating two men Okay. Ben and I are just friends Same with Jerry Fine. I have ice cream. But it's love."