82353
Joke of the Day
"The German folk singer was very dishonest with me. You could say that he lied."
Next Joke
"Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!"
"If you sleep with two prostitutes in one day... what is the first one called? a whore-derve"
"Throughout my entire life, there have always been two things I can count on My hands"
"noah's google search history: ""wat is arc"" ""why would god want circle segment"" ""arc or ark"" ""how many animals"" ""5,000,000 x 2"" ""is god real"""
"Loving someone and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it."
"I got a $100 bill tattooed on my penis.... My girlfriend asked why I did it, and I told her 'well you're always asking for money to blow...'"
"Truth in advertising #1: Burger King- Your actually having it our way, and our way consists of making you fat."
"4yo: You're a good dad. Me: Thanks. 4yo: You'd be better if you said yes more. Me: Okay. 4yo: Can I have ice cream? Think about what I said."
"DOCTOR: studies show that social media use reduces attention span ME: that's hard to believe DOCTOR: are you checking your phone? ME: what?"