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Joke of the Day

"Where does the Empire buy their robes? The Darth Mall!"

"If my wife hates when I cum in her hair. Why does she keep leaving it in the shower drain?"

"Even if oil prices go down, I'm still going to siphon gas from my neighbor's car because I like the adrenaline rush and he's an asshole."

"You know you have a struggle of being a Vietnamese When your first name is Dat, last name is Ho and the teachers call the whole thing out"

"No my carpet doesn't match my drapes cause I don't have carpet , Duh...."

"Which Vice President was the best at making beats? Algorithm"

"I don't like my computer memory. Not one bit."

"Bouncer: Woah. Dress code Me: This is a suit B: Yeah, a chicken suit. *puts nugget in bouncer's pocket *pats it M: We good? B: Have fun, sir"

"My standards are as high as my pull up bar which is on the ground, in my basement."

"Met a guy from Iraq today who grew a full beard as I was meeting him."