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Joke of the Day
"No my carpet doesn't match my drapes cause I don't have carpet , Duh...."
Next Joke
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef"
"What do stupid kids do at Halloween ? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins !"
"A man walks into a bar... ...with a gun, and shouts, ""Who fucked my wife, I'm gonna kill him!"" Another man at the bar turns around and says ""You ain't got enough bullets mate!"""
"When I got pregnant people would always say 'eating for two now are we?' I'd tell them to bugger off, I'm not cutting down."
"When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won't have to look for one when I become a ghost"
"Great Insults A letter from teacher to parent:Dear parent,Kamal doesn't smel nice in class.Please try to bathe him.Parent answer:Dear teacher,Kamal is not a rose.Don't smell him.Teach him."
"What are the advantages of living in Switzerland? Well the flag for one is a big plus. Badum tss."
"""Let the chips fall where they may."" -My kids when they're eating chips on the couch."
"I fucked a sarcastic girl. She loved it."