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Joke of the Day

"*bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!"

"The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like."

"And now for the most stupidest joke ever. How do you say the word ""peanuts"" *without* the letter ""t""? Think about it."

"Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan."

"What do you call water that hasn't been changed? Still, water."

"""I gotta 'A' in spelling"" Tony told his father. ""You dope!"" he replied. ""There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"""

"Lumberjacks are good at maths because of their log rhythms Thanks, HL Math."

"Did you hear the one about to car that lost its tires? Apparently it was in a wheel hurry."

"I tried building a robotic midget... but it had a short circuit."

"Mirror mirror on the wall, am I the fairest of them all? No, but you've got an amazing ass!"