71980

Joke of the Day

"""I gotta 'A' in spelling"" Tony told his father. ""You dope!"" he replied. ""There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"""

"Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion."

"Which bird is always out of breath ? A puffin !"

"What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polyunsaturated"

"Did you hear about that geeky trigonometry expert? The only angle lacking in his life was secs."

"My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes. I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates"

"Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged? Because cowboys always eat with their hats on."

"My favorite religion is that one that doesn't try to force their beliefs on you. What's that one called again?"

"I'm just not convinced that banning the sale of sentient death robots decreases deaths. The research just isn't there."

"Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, ""My God, I look like a pillow"" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow."