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Joke of the Day

"*Tinkerbell sprinkling pixie dust* Remember Peter, give me a call if it last longer than 4 hours."

"My best friend thinks I'm a stalker ...well he's not really my friend....yet."

"Why can't leopards hide? Because they are always spotted!"

"I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way... My future's in ruins."

"America is the greatest country on earth at thinking it's the greatest country on earth."

"What did the body builder say when he ran out of protein powder mix? No whey."

"I wasn't trying to break you up, but she asked me what I did last night, and your name came up. *shrugs"

"A guy walks into his room with a duck under his arm... and says ""This is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says ""That's not a pig, it's a duck."" He says ""I wasn't talking to you."""

"What is the definition of ""moon""? The past tense of ""moo""!"

"Walked into the gym and did 1 push up in front of everyone, then ripped off my shirt and walked out grunting 'You did it. You did it.'"