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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into his room with a duck under his arm... and says ""This is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says ""That's not a pig, it's a duck."" He says ""I wasn't talking to you."""

"Duct tape can't fix stupidity, but it can muffle it."

"No matter how many times he was killed by their products, Wile E Coyote remained loyal to the ACME brand. You've gotta respect that."

"As the programmer was going to the store his wife called out We need a quart of milk and if they have eggs bring me back a dozen. He returns with 3 gallons of milk and says: ""They had eggs."""

"There was a pair of Siamese triplets, but they wanted to be a pair. So they cut out the middle man."

"I bought a guide on the internet on how to be a thief 3 months ago I Haven't received it yet.."

"When I was a kid, we were so poor... If I didn't wake up with a boner on Christmas, I wouldn't have anything to play with."

"Why did the Mexican take xanax? Hispanic attacks."

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."

"What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch? It may contain viruses."