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Joke of the Day

"Where does Russia get its water from? De-stalinization plants"

"Ambien is not the answer, unless your neighbor questions why you were sleeping on their couch and where did their cheesecake go."

"An Ohio judge ruled gay marriage legal, as long as the person is dead, proving that the slippery slope now includes gay necrophila."

"*eats way too much delicious space pudding* Me: Oof I am STUFFED! What'd you call this again? Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!"

"It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later."

"Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat's leg."

"Did you hear that Tom Cruise is hiring Rebecca De Mornay for the weekend to help him make cat food? Yep, it'll be ""Friskies"" Business!"

"Have you met the one-breasted Queen of the Jungle Retailers? they call her... Amazon Prime"

"What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller? Rascal Flatts."

"Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party"