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Joke of the Day

"Ambien is not the answer, unless your neighbor questions why you were sleeping on their couch and where did their cheesecake go."

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"I did a girl missionary style I stole her cultural identity so I could take her land"
"Net flips and krill? - killer whale text"
"That scene which she dies is full of suspense... What a breathtaking moment."
"Auto-correct turned ""likeable"" into ""lickable"" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation."
"I know how we can solve the California water crisis Collect all the sweat drops from John Boyega"
"My daughter asked me what ""fap fap fap"" means... I think I should stop commenting on her Facebook pictures."
"Pac-Man Amiibo ""This is the worst buttplug ever! Why is it yellow?"" ""Hey, has anyone seen my Pac-Man amiibo?"" ""OOOPS"""
"What is the monkey that can't peel the banana? Terrible at CC"
"I'm the cat whisperer. because I whisper, ""I could kill you with my bare hands"" to them daily."