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Joke of the Day
"Have you met the one-breasted Queen of the Jungle Retailers? they call her... Amazon Prime"
Next Joke
"""Daddy, how do stars die?"" ""Drugs, normally."""
"How Does Baby Hitler Tie His Shoes? With itty-bitty knotsies"
"I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision."
"Appreciation speech I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My fingers, I can always count on them, and the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets I'm here all week."
"Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt."
"As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps."
"Bin Laden released an audio tape about the Christmas underwear bomber. A month later. Where has he been, living in a cave?"
"""What goes down must come up."" -Sir Anorexic Newton"
"What does Lenin say when he his angry? I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx."