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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard about the Butchers 420 Dodgeball Classic? It's a high steaks game."
Next Joke
"Made reservations. For the grinandbearit."
"Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows? TL;DR"
"I often fill my water guns with urine and fire them at tightrope walkers. Pisses them right off"
"Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand."
"Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga."
"Yesterday I tried to catch the fog... Mist."
"I only like two things in my life. Boobs."
"Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake their soda"
"#1: Too many people still answer the phone like they don't know who's calling."