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Joke of the Day
"""...and it looks like you spent $80,000 on alcohol this year?"" - my tax guy"
Next Joke
"So this smoke detector is trying to tell me the battery is so dangerously low that it can only beep 4000 times?"
"Interviewer: do you have any final questions? Me: HYPOTHETICALLY, what happens to people who drink on their lunch breaks?"
"What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish? [OC] I think I'm feeling C6"
"I think Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station."
"Heard about the new Itailian all-weather tires? Dago through rain Dago through mud Dago through snow And when Dago flat Dago wop-wop-wop-wop..."
"I think one of my dads might be gay..."
"Two muffins are in an oven One says to the other ""Man, it sure is hot in here"" The other replies ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""
"Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer."
"What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit? Johnny Cash."