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Joke of the Day

"A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. 'I'm sorry sir' said a cashier 'the loan arranger is out to lunch.' 'Can I speak to Tonto then?' asked the man."

"What the hell is this REstraining Order?!? I never even got a Straining Order? I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out."

"Studies show that 92% of people masturbate. Do you know what the other 8% does instead? Yeah... me neither."

"Boss: Did you take Mike's stapler and leave a note demanding that he meet you for drinks later? Me: WHAT!?! Noooo....wait, did he say yes?"

"What did one math book say to the other math book? You've got problems."

"What's supposed to be funny, but let's you down? This joke..."

"Ground control to Kerbal III, how willing would you be to share your proximity to the equator? We have zero inclination."

"How do you stretch your back? ""I don't know."" **shrugs*"

"Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad."

"I wanna get on a taxi and after riding around a while without saying anything, tell the driver 'I killed myself on that bridge 2 years ago'"