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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the wrestler who was beaten by a vampire? He was down for the count"

"No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze."

"""Hey you know how everyone's favorite part of the sandwich is the meat, let's add an extra slice of bread?"" - Inventor of club sandwich"

"((Sigh)) I would love to get a new BMW i8 It definitely will get the most gals per mile in city driving."

"Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can ""work from home"", don't use air quotes."

"Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia? Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters."

"My grandfather's new 21 year old wife denies she's a gold digger but I think it's a little suspicious she married him less than a week after his death."

"So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way."

"John has 400 spiders, he eats 398, what does John have now? Cancer"

"Have you heard about that new dating app for serial killers? It's called Skinder"