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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather's new 21 year old wife denies she's a gold digger but I think it's a little suspicious she married him less than a week after his death."

Next Joke
 
"*texting with my mom* Mom: I miss your handsome face! Me: Aww..thanks, mom! I miss you too! Mom: Sorry. Wrong number."
"A scarecrow just won a Nobel prize. It was for being out-standing in his field."
"What do you call a turkey with Parkinson's Disease? Turkey Jerky"
"How does a feminist kill a spider? Not, she is not man enough to do it."
"Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now."
"I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted. I'm quitting this cold turkey."
"Just gave a homeless man $5 because I know what it's like to be sober."
"What do you call a procrastinating woodpecker? A wouldpecker"
"I think my professor might not know my name. He keeps on correcting it with the word ""Late"" on all my papers."