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Joke of the Day

"((Sigh)) I would love to get a new BMW i8 It definitely will get the most gals per mile in city driving."

"What do you call a lesbian who also doesn't eat meat? A vagetarian."

"I used to have a friend who wanted to be run over by a steam train... When he finally was, he was chuffed to bits."

"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."

"gonna give my zombie friend several different brains for his deathday. Took a while to get the shopping done. Finally got some presents of mind."

"when interviewing a person for a dog walking position, you must make absolutely certain that given the chance, the applicant won't eat a dog"

"do you like icecream? then maybe you should marry it"

"Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies? (Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9."

"What do you call a battle of wordplay? Pun-fu fighting"

"Fact: if you drop a penny from a skyscraper it can kill someone on the street? It's true, I'm still glad I went with a bowling ball though"