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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW] I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"My son laughed at a ceiling fan for 45 minutes in case any studio execs are wondering how to reach his demographic."

"What do you call an aging chef with an unfaithful wife? A cookold."

"What do you call Donald Trump's plane? Hair force one..."

"My hamster died today. He fell asleep at the wheel."

"Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike."

"A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, ""Get me a cold one."" The bartender gives him my girlfriend."

"What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 60 pounds."

"If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I'm going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart."

"I hate shopping. No matter how much I try and buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashier keeps on putting them back!"