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Joke of the Day

"If you could have sex with one person you've had sex before.. would it be with your right or left hand?"

"Stare at the waitress's boobs when you tell her you want ""everything"" on your sandwich. Ya never know..."

"My friend and I got featured on a listicle. We both think that most listicles are awful attempts to just get ad revenue but hey, at least we're on the same page."

"Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there."

"Screaming out ""BOOM PREGNANT!"" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be."

"A priest and a rabbi leave a bar ..., and see a ten year old boy. The priest says ""Let's screw him!"" and the rabbi says ""Out of what?"""

"Been rubbing this thing on my carpet for 2 hours and still nothing. How the hell do you recharge a smart car?"

"One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old."

"What did the rock say to the other rock? Im hard"

"Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour? Operator: No but if you hum a few bars I might be able to sing along with you."