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Joke of the Day

"One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old."

"So I went to a stable for a self confidence boost I found myself surrounded by a bunch of neigh-sayers."

"Growing up my mom told me... I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft."

"What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach? You sand it!"

"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer doesn't complain when you push a 3 1/2"" floppy into it."

"9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing."

"What's the difference between bullets and everyone ? Everyone misses Harambe."

"My autobiography will be a single piece of paper that says 'Ugh'"

"Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"Does anyone else's smart phone make periodic ringing noises?"