51972

Joke of the Day

"My handheld social networking device is ringing! What do I do?"

"Reading a book about anti-gravity... and its impossible to put down"

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because its been reposted over a dozen times."

"*Sleeping Beauty gives rotten apple to Obama* *Obama faints* Only a kiss from his one true love will save him *Biden takes out lipstick*"

"*bursts into church* DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN ... Undertaker: ""This is a funeral"" ... OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER"

"Heard about the fruit that became a president? He got impeached."

"Mom! Mom! I'm pregnant!! Oh God, honey, where was your head at?! Ummm against the passenger door, I think"

"Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office? He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer."

"Well, today I realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob, I think I've learned all that is possible for my brain to hold...."

"What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes? Vans of der Waals"