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Joke of the Day

"Been rubbing this thing on my carpet for 2 hours and still nothing. How the hell do you recharge a smart car?"

"I recently got a job circumcising elephants the pay is terrible but the TIPS ARE HUGE!"

"Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"[OC] Why couldn't the dragon breathe fire? He had a cold"

"What rhymes with orange? no, it doesnt."

"Paddy says, ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""Bugger that!"" says Mick. ""Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"""

"My GF lost 250 pounds. She dumped me."

"If the skin on your elbow is called a weenus... Is the skin on your knee called a knee-nus? (I'm so sorry)"

"What is a Germans favorite letter? Any letter before the last. Because they're not 'z's"

"Did you hear that the DMV is going make all stop signs bilingual for Spanish Speakers in 2014? It's not going to be too expensive, though, all they have to do is add the ""e"" to the front."