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Joke of the Day

"Little Johnny comes home one day... and says, ""Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"" ""What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"" ""No,"" says Johnny. ""It's salty"""

"What do you do if you get a peanut stuck in your ear ? Pour in a little chocolate and it comes out a treat."

"To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word."

"Currently searching the want ads for a place that will pay a good salary for me to just curl up in a ball and give up."

"I'm married, but not ""pass up the opportunity to sleep with Thor"" married. Or Wolverine. Or Captain America. Or Jennifer Aniston..."

"I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?"

"AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A WINDOWS 7 PARTY 'CAUSE A WINDOWS 7 PARTY DON'T STFILE \$win_nt$.~bt\NTKRNLMP.EXE cannot be open error 7"

"Mad Libs inventor died today of POOPING. He is survived by his PIZZA CHEESE and his LAWN DARTS. He will be A DINOSAUR."

"Did you hear about the campers with explosive diarrhea? That shi* was intense."

"Sometimes I think to myself... and then other times I don't"