36565
Joke of the Day
"Sometimes I think to myself... and then other times I don't"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One doesn't scream when you put it in an oven"
"[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] ""why isn't he wearing a shirt"" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote"
"My kid just called Child Protective Services because he still has an iPhone 5S."
"They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard. Happy Valentine's Day folks!"
"Did you know that its illegal for someone living next to a cemetery to be buried there? that would be called murder."
"A pirate walks into a bar.... with a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender asks him, ""Doesn't that hurt?"" The pirate replies, ""Arr! It's drivin' me nuts!"""
"When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that."
"*watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *has to pee* *watches soccer* *gets up to pee* *misses goal* :/"
"My tribal name is sleeps in the river... I was a bed-wetter"