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Joke of the Day

"I'm married, but not ""pass up the opportunity to sleep with Thor"" married. Or Wolverine. Or Captain America. Or Jennifer Aniston..."

"How many tickles does it take to effectively tickle an octopus? Tentacles."

"""Normal people"" are the most fucked up people you will ever meet."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer. What do you call a dead deer with no eyes? Still, no eye deer."

"Two melons were out for a romantic dinner. One melon said to the other, ""Honey, dew you love me?"" The other replied, ""Yes, but I cantaloupe!"" ### ...I'll show myself out"

"I've always had a soft spot in my heart for female T-Rex because the tampon insertion must've been really difficult."

"Which Dinosaurs love electricity? Bulbasaurs"

"Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy? If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)"

"Do you know why Apple steals all their ideas? Cause when they make their own I lose my headphones."

"Why does granny have black eyes? She was skipping without her bra"